Wednesday, 20 December 2017

Chad and Jeff Get Radical: The Cadillac CTS V-Sport Morello Red Edition

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2018 Cadillac CTS V-Sport Morello Red Edition

We imagine the conversation in the Cadillac product-planning offices went something like this: “Hey, Chad, we’ve got this new red-trimmed interior thing we’re working on for the CTS V-Sport. What should we call it?”

“Dude. Jeff! It’s red, and Communists are known as Reds. Tom Morello’s a communist. We should totally name it after him. My older bro totally saw Rage Against the Machine at Lollapalooza in ’93 at Milan Dragway!”

“Chad! That’s lit AF, dude. I’m so glad they let us come to New York from Michigan so we could subvert the dominant paradigm, Ambrose Burnside! High five! And you knowJohan’ll sign off. He’s got ‘Free Nelson Mandela’ somewhere in that old Audi-branded iPod he carries around!”

“Uh, Jeff, what’s ‘Free Nelson Mandela’?”

“It was like the ‘We Are the World’ of getting Nelson Mandela out of jail. The guy from that old ska band wrote it. Dude, don’t let it slip to Johan that you didn’t know that.”

2018 Cadillac CTS V-Sport Morello Red Edition

Verily, Chad did keep his mouth shut, and thus did Johan de Nysschen sign off on the 2018 Cadillac CTS V-Sport Morello Red Edition, featuring a black chrome-accented grille, gloss black window trim, microfiber wrapping for the steering wheel and shift knob, Recaro seats in Jet Black with sueded inserts and red contrast stitching, carbon-fiber trim, and Morello Red door panels and center armrests. It’s available on either the regular rear-wheel-drive model or the full-boat, trickle-down-economist-spec rear-wheel-drive Premium Luxury, and the available exterior hues are Black Raven (for the maximum anarcho-syndicalist vibe when paired with the interior), Phantom Gray Metallic, Satin Steel Metallic, or the opulent Crystal White Tricoat.

What does the future hold for the intrepid Chad and Jeff? Might we see a CT6 Bakunin Special package? An Escalade V. Debs? Potentially a Circle ATS? Might Mercedes respond with a reborn AMG Hammer and Sickle? C’mon, Cadillac. Quit Stalin Mao, and give us a hint.

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