In Australia, which is bigger than Ohio, a 12-year-old made it 800 miles before being pulled over. To the east, in New Zealand, another boy was spotted driving a car with a goat in it. Inspired by the goat, a bear in Roanoke County, Virginia, found its way into a Honda Pilot parked in a driveway and closed the door behind himself. Then, realizing he had no pockets in which to not have the key fob, and lacking the digital literacy necessary to operate the interior door handle, the bear honked the horn until the Honda’s owners came outside to free him. Questioned about some 16th-century bone fragments he was using as toothpicks, the bear responded: “Wrong Roanoke. That one was in North Carolina.”
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