Operating the sort of test fleet we do, it is with fair regularity that we encounter the occasional cracked windshield, bent wheel rim, or chipped hood. If Michigan’s deteriorating infrastructure isn’t crumbling and subsequently being launched by other motorists at the fronts of our test cars, it’s blowing apart other folks’ tires, pieces of which are then launched at our test cars. (Our Cadillac CTS Vsport found this out the hard way when it took a chunk of radial to its face last year.) But even we were shocked—or maybe impressed, even—when we discovered an 8-inch serrated kitchen knife embedded a good four inches deep in our long-term Porsche Cayman S‘s underbody.
Road warrior Charley Ladd unsheathed the problem after stopping to investigate a strange scraping sound emanating from beneath our lovely red sports car. We’re not sure how long the knife had been forking the Porsche’s underside, but there it was, driven into a bonded seam in the floorboard underneath the passenger seat at a 30-degree angle, its handle pointed toward the front of the car. Unable to grab the kitchen weapon at the roadside from under the low-riding Cayman, Ladd brought the car back to C/D HQ and stuck it on the lift. Some determined tugging ripped the handle from the blade, requiring a second effort to completely free the knife from its moor.
There really is no moral to this, only that we’re glad the sharp tool didn’t end up in, say, one of the tires. We can’t really say, either, how it was that a relatively flimsy “titanium” blade made in China came to be driven so deeply into a tight body seam by happenstance. For now, the knife remains on display in our office, a spoil of our ongoing war with road detritus.
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